Toys

I used to love everything colorful. I liked to wear too many colors on my outfits. Yes, I was. Now, since I keep growing up, I like to wear something simple. It makes me wear boring outfits (okay, I know that it happen also because I'm too lazy to think about what to wear, so simple things do really help). And I also really like toys. I like to play dolls, also guns (with water on it, exactly). If somebody ask me to do that again, definitely I'll say yes. But since people get older, they have different ways of 'playing'. We don't play anything that we did when we were kid. I think people is more into technology now. I'm wondering whether kid play hide and seek or not nowadays. I think they'll prefer to play Angry Birds. I don't really know. All my nieces do is watching TV. Or playing with water or her toys (I think that playing with water is a very next level of playing when you're kid. I mean, if you do not have enough responsibility, parents would prohibit you to do that. Maybe they afraid that kid gonna drink it). I do really love my childhood.

Luck

I got this ring from Helen's giveaway (thank you very much, Helen!). For once, I was lucky. I don't really know whether is it normal or not, but I do think about luck too much. Everything has its own luck. So does number. 4 isn't my number and sometimes (or many times) it is a bad luck number. 3 is kind of my number. I always think that way. But many times, 2 prove that it is also my number. Since I broke one of the the flower, the ring has three flowers now. And it is become my lucky ring since then.

PS. I feel so uninspired these past weeks. I know that there is something wrong with me, but I'm not sure exactly what it is.

Hey, Cherries!

This is not cherry, by the way. But, they are from the same genus I guess. They are called kersen. Do you know this? Please tell me. I just wondering that maybe they are only exist in my life.

PS. My exam is over. But I'm gonna have a test at Monday. So, ugh, I can't stop studying.
PPS. I just broke my card reader which is not a good thing. I hate myself, sometimes.

Home

"Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to."

John Ed Pearce

I'm home! Oh my gosh, how I really love to be here. So, on my last journey I got homesick. Even on the way to go to the destination from home. Ah, I feel so pathetic. I was very sad to be so far from my comfort zone. I thought it would be nice to be somewhere else, but I was wrong. I prefer stay at my town, my comfort zone.
I always think that I'll leave my town someday when I grow up, but I am not sure now. I just can't do that.

"Not going home is already like death."

E. Catherine Toble

I am Leaving the Town

I'll go to interesting place tomorrow. And I am both excited and afraid at the same time. Ah, my bad. I (seems like) never leave my town. So, it is kind of scary for me to go.

"I think I'm afraid of death twenty-four hours a day. I swear."

Céline - Before Sunrise

Actually, I always have this feeling. Wherever it is, I always think about this thing. And I also scare, how if I really die today and I still have many things to do (include my task as a college student! How irony is it). I think I'll regret many things too. Things that I should do but I didn't. Yes, I am afraid that my life would be full of regret. I am really afraid about it. I just really don't want to think about it. But I can't help it. Well, over thinking is a bad thing here. But, at least, I'll leaving the town tomorrow. And I hope that everything would be okay, as my horoscope for this month said:

"If you travel at this time with your sweetheart, the journey will go well."

After The Rain

If somewhere down the line

We will never get to meet

I’ll always wait for you after the rain

After The Rain - Aditya Sofyan

It was rain so hard at the night. And in the morning, I breathe the fresh air. It was very great. And I really like how it feel when I woke up in the morning. It was cold. And it is good! I live in a town where there is only two things happen. It can be sunny day. Or it can be rainy day. I really can't stand a very hot sunny days. It makes my face so red. Also, it is uncomfortable. And you should forget about layering. Because it is a very bad idea.
When a lecturer said that at somewhere in Canada, they only get the sun for 3 hours every year. The first thing that come to my mind was, "OH MY GOSH! It should be freaking cold there. But it is good for layering! (I think I am a layering-obsessed)".

Another thing that I like after the rain is this! It is so lovely. 

A Flower

Don't you just love flower and can't describe how you really like it?

When I was a child, I used to make flower crown from this flower. Actually I don't know the name of this flower, ugh, too bad. This flower is so beautiful. I just can't not to love it.

Rosy Purple

I never wear lipstick on my casual day. It happened that my sister gave me this lipstick. A red lipstick. A red lipstick which gonna makes me into woman (ew!). Actually it never happen. Not around this time. Maybe someday. Ha!
People like to make versatile list. And almost the time, red lipstick is one of them. And for me, it is a real nothing to do with red lipstick.
And by the way, it is not a red lipstick actually. It is a Rosy Purple. Now, I really want to change my blog name into Rosy Purple. Just like Russian Red, you know. Ahhh, why I didn't consider use a lipstick name for my blog before. I regret it. Well, actually I regret many things.

Pretty DIY Things

This is one of my friend DIY project. Basically, this is rope. Colorful rope that made from friendly materials. Also this is so adorable and useful. You can use it as belt, necklace, bracelet, headband, literally everything. Actually, there are some pictures that I and my friends had styled. But, waiting upload the pictures gonna makes me sleep, for sure! Can I blame the internet connection? In my case, I couldn't. You should be kind to everything and everyone. So, maybe, your life gonna be better.

If you think your time is too precious or you are freaking busy, you can but it from my friend, @tinyoot.

So, good luck everyone! For everything that you need your luck is.

A+ Procrastinator

Long sleeve : Uniqlo. Outer wear : Mia Mail. Jeans : Spyderbilt. 

Actually, it is in the middle of my exams week. And I feel so sick about that. I mean, I am bored with too many tests. Every week, I got (at least) a test, sometimes two, or even three. I am so mad to myself why I can't get enough attention to my study. Why I can't study well? Because I am an A+ Procrastinator (not good!).

I am a better student a year ago. I think I am bored with everything college related recently. And I think I should quit. Being a quitter is not the only answer if I think about my condition clearly. I mean, HOW IF everything, at least, gonna makes me bored? HOW IF this place is made for me actually? HOW IF my life gonna be more miserable? BUT HOW IF I have more more fun things out there? HOW IF I meet many great persons that gonna makes my life better? HOW IF I'll be surround with creative people? And how if I just die and everything end and no more thinking about everything. Being over thinking person is the last thing that you wanna be (believe me!). I hate being over thinking like this. But in this world, I really really like myself better that anyone else (who want to do that if not yourself?)

I want to make alter ego. So, here I am. I think that is better to be person that I want to be without worrying the effect about what I was talking about at real life. Maybe I am little bit late, but whatever. I'll trying to make it.

So, HI PEOPLE. I come from nowhere. Maybe from one hole of the internet. But, who cares? I am not.

See? College makes me crazy like I should stop thinking about it anymore. Geez. I don't care.

So, here is what I wore to college the previous days. I stay so casual because I can't be dress up crazily at my real life? Why? Because it is real life when gossiping is real. Gossiping is real at my real life. I hate it.

Because my life is more boring rather than fun. So, I'll make some fun things here. See ya!

BUT THE SKY IS NEVER LOOKED BORING.

the sweet boy is exist. surprised!

i read that there are many bad boys in this world (thanks, internet!). then, i have no idea about it now. i know some boys who really love their girlfriend and do literally everything to please their girlfriend. i always think that it is so sweet. then i asked him, "you're so kind to her. how can you be like that?" he replied, "i have commitment with her. i want this relationship is forever". actually i forgot how exactly what he said, but he said something kinda like that. don't you think that it is the best thing ever? that boys finally have commitment and declare to the world that they really love girls, just like they love games? (almost boys, do love games. many boys have commitment to be gamer to death). i had met so many jerks before, so i am kinda surprised when i met (finally) nice boys. very nice, that they don't wanna hurt girls.

by the way, i also made collage for SPARK. here is it:

both pictures from Retrospace, the lace (!) background is mine.

far left : Mathilda (Natalie Portman) at Leon the Professional, burn book, photo from The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, also Regina, Gretchen and Karen from Mean Girls.

i have these pictures since i was at high school. so, please tell me the credits.

making collage is very fun! maybe i should many more. but i am afraid that i do not have plenty of time to do everything that i want also everything that i should and must do. now, i always think that 24 hours a day is not enough. i need more time. my life is crazy here (not as crazy as Lindsay Lohan of course). 

The Day When Happiness is Forever

the day is today. i don't know, everything seems very right for today. i met my friends from middle school. i went to my favorite place, ate my favorite meal, talked about everything. and the big news come from the zine. i had talked about it before. how i was very excited. yes, i am very excited. and today, we are officially on twitter which make us a step closer. closer to our dream.

When we are dreaming alone, it is only a dream

When we are dreaming with others, it is the beginning of reality

Dom Helder Camara 

i was freaking afraid if the zine can't be on time. i am crazy with the deadline and time that left. i am crazy to wait the articles (yes, i still wait it. and it drives me crazy whenever i think about it and the time that left and something in between). the fact is i am obsessed with the zine. obsessed until i can't think about anything else clearly (maybe) (i am pretty sure. okay, half sure). mother of a friend thought that i was crazy to make this zine. she expected me to study a lot i guess. but i am not. i am not study enough these days which makes me freak out. but i can't. there is only 15% left for everything, and 85% for the zine (still half sure, but i think about it a lot, okay?)

here is it, cover of the zine

lovely right? photographed by Golda Florencia edited by me and Dwi Nawang W.

i am thankful to my friends that help and support me a lot. i really love you, friends. by the way, the zine named SPARK. how beautiful is that!

I heard a spark, something that glowed hundred feet higher

I opened my eyes when there is light to see if I'm closer

Spark - The Bird and The Bee

you should be hear about us now. do you see the glow?

suddenly, the cheesy attack came in the noon

dear, shop keeper (or whatever you call it). can you just be nice when you do not have what i want to buy? can you just put on smile and say, "sorry, you're not lucky today. maybe you'll come back there and be the lucky girl that day." it is so simple to be nice to your customers!

i was okay this morning. very okay. i read Rookie, watched Hole on youtube, and happy plus angry (oh my, Courtney Love you rocks!) then i went to uni. and the cheesy attack came.

after the class, i took a ride. went around. then, i thought that i should buy the camera! (can you see that i am a spontaneous person?) canon sx130is tease me a lot recently. i googled the shop first. then i went to mall. there are two shops that sell camera, but they do not have canon sx130is! then, i found myself obsessed. i went to four another shops (at another place, another mall, another street) and found nothing. then, i called two shops by phone and got nothing (google, thanks! you save my time).

at the first shop, they have sx150is. but, i didn't want it. i just look at this video and think that he is so cool (would you be my man, Johannesvan?) also he like this song too. he is so cute! (actually, he makes me remember about a boy, at my uni. he is such a geek in a good way). okay, my point is i wanna buy canon sx150is.

Hole is great and cool and great and cool and cool!!! i like this video so much. the colors, the road, the emotions, the dress (yeah you, Melissa Auf der Maur), the palm tree, the fire, the beach, the red lips, the Love! okay, this is time to screen-capturing! (big thanks to PhotoScape).

 COOL!!!!!

this morning. feel the same.

at the morning, i decide what i feel about myself for the day. do i feel happy, sad, or cheesy. it reflect at my outfits. also my feeling. do you know Mrs. Bartolotti? please, you should read Conrad. maybe, i'll talk about this book another time. this time, i wanna talk about this morning.

i suppose to do my task. i'll gonna have my class at 10am, and this is 6.44am. i turn on my laptop, read Rookie, and Style Rookie. then, i feel so sad. so, today i am a sad girl.

i wanna make a zine, i tell you before. nobody at my grade want to make it with me. so, i told some senior boys and they was interested! oh my, i am kinda so happy! but i really afraid that they change their mind. so, wish me luck.

Wednesday Addams anyone? via Alix Bancourt.

yesterday, i talked about ideology to my friend.

Me : i think he is just like another boy. okay, i'll say he is half-mature. he said he want to be idealistic but he don't. i think it is sarcastic. then i realized that it is the fact. i don't know about his ideology.

Friend : ideology is desire to always be perfect.

Me : no, it is not! ideology is something how you think. Pancasila is ideology (for you who don't know, i know that you're not indonesian). yap, that's it.

Friend : ........

oh my, do you think what i think? i feel so confused. i don't know what people at my age think about (okay i know, they think about the opposite gender so much. and the task). i said to my sister that people at my uni seems like high school girls and boys. so immature, so naive. they seems don't wanna grow up. they want to be young forever. but i am not. i wanna be a lady!

twilight really reflect the vibe. young, in love, mortal, young forever. do you feel that young forever is not a good idea? i hope you watched Tuck Everlasting and Pirates of the Caribbean : On Stranger Tides. Winnie Foster (Alexis Bledel) and Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) resist to be immortal.

Don't be afraid of death, Winnie. Be afraid of the unlived life.

(Angus Tuck - Tuck Everlasting)

Winnie : I don't wanna die; is that wrong? Angus Tuck : No. No human does. But it's a part of being human. 

(Tuck Everlasting)

Gibbs: I don't get it, Jack. You had the chalices, the tear, the water - you could have lived forever! 

Jack Sparrow : Who's to say I won't live forever? But, you know what? It's a pirate's life for me, savvy?

(Pirates of the Carribbean : On Stranger Tides)

don't you think that we should not be afraid of death? if we know we'll die someday, we'll make our day a way better than yesterday. but if we are immortal, we'll lose the taste of life. life is boring sometimes. so, how can you life like that for forever? 

there are many people that obsessed to be adult (rookie, thank you!). i was. when i was child. then i realized that being adult is hard. the responsibility and problems and whatever.

but now, i know that i should think as a adult, grown up people. i would not make mistake anymore. i would life in peace. it's okay to be sad, i know. you should not act happy all the time. when you are sad, you can tell me and we can work it out. so, don't lie to yourself.

anyway, you're beautiful. yes, YOU!

sunday is candy day

i decided to buy some candies today (Rookie, you really got me!). i didn't want to buy chocolate. i wanna buy M&M's but the store didn't have it, so i bought Yupi and Skittles (oh my, the web is so awesome!).

skittles make love colony! how sweet.

i like both so much! i eat yupi since i was a child. yupi have many shape. there are crocodile, burger, etc. i bought Strawberry Kiss which has love shape. how cute! this candy is sweet and easy-to-chew. skittles is sweet and sour. do you read 'taste the rainbow' at the bottom of the package? i eat all the colors (yellow, green, orange, red, and purple) and feel the 'rainbow'.

so how about your candy day? do you have it?

i do not think that you are enemy or what. you are you. i am me.

do you know when you already born

do you know this is the way it would be

do you know when you already born

you were already you and i already me

Take Me As I Am - Au Revoir Simone

Rodarte! i thought i got this image from FotoDecadent

MIU MIU!!! The Prophet - Tatler Hong Kong May 2010. photographed by Baldovino Barani via FotoDecadent

Lindsey Wixson. Purple Fashion F/W 2011. photographed by Terry Richardson via Fashion Gone Rogue

that is not a big problem if we are different. the way you act to people is a way so important. i always should be nice to people (a polite reason), even in a bad mood. acceptance is expensive, people. do you realize it? some people who have high tolerant is awesome because there are too many people who only think about their self. that is good and bad. you decide.

today some friends and i went to a friend home to attend a funeral (we was late). i like the long way to get there. traffic drove me crazy, but it was okay. i'll do the same thing again and never regret it. some trouble in the way was only problem in the way. no matter what happened before, we arrived at our destination and happy about it. i really wanna do some long journey. i'll love it a lot. the panic, the traffic, the wait, the happiness. don't you think that it is lovely?

recently, we talked about boys, relationship, friends, and something related. oh my, it should be fun if one of my friend get marry really soon. really soon! i can't wait it. attend to friend wedding, how is it feel? lot of joy?

Dior Couture. Image via Alix Bancourt edited with Poladroid.

talking about my life there, i am okay. i am in love. with Miu Miu!!! (i am obsessed, baby).

am i obsessed? i don't know really.

when i think i like a boy but actually it's not. when i wanna buy a book but actually i'm not. when i really want to cut my hair but actually i don't. life is hard, see?

my life is gonna be right, i guess. i know how to do with my panic-attack, also the drama behind it. the time when i should study but actually i wasn't, then i'll regret if i typed the wrong answer into my paper. i don't regret why i didn't study, i regret why i wrote the wrong answer. ha! many times, i become hard on my self. but the other time i love myself so much and i'll give my body extra sleep which means less study time. in the morning, i feel so fresh. just like sunflower!

by the way, i really want this hair-cut

Kelly Framel of the Glamourai

this bang :

Yves Saint Laurent's fall 2006 via Sea of Shoes

and the glasses, please. it is, absolutely, Rayban.

okay, i want the ice cream too, right now. Jane via Sea of Shoes

i told my friend that i wanna be a stylist, or editor. then she said, " are you sure? you're ......." oh girl, i know what you mean. i dress up so casual everyday at uni which is kinda boring. this month, i have a style diary. i do not wanna wear the exact same combination. previous month, i am so lazy to think and ended up to wear the same combination again and again. jeans + shirt + casual shoes. nothing interesting. so, i'll challenge myself. i'll dress up better. not to be too casual, i hope. casual is boring.

life should not be boring. so, challenge yourself with something fun!

so you called me loser, do you think i care about it?

actually, no. i don't care if you call me ugly, loser, coward, disgusting, or everything.

From Petra’s "Teen Witch" photo shoot.

Me : I don't wanna do that.
Friend #1 : You should! It never gonna make you die.
Me : Uhhh, I don't know (means : I don't care)
Friend #2 : It's not a matter if you're wrong.
Friend #3 : Oh, come on!
Me : ......
Friend #2 #3 #4 make some L
Me : I really don't know (it is because my hands was sweating)
Friend #3 : You're a ....... (I can't hear what she said)
Me : Okay, I'll do that. Umm, what do you say?
Friend #3 : You're loser (make the L-hand just like on Glee)
Me : (Actually I don't care about it)

My daddy never talk about bully. There are some people that kind of bullies. Many times, I feel that I am so weak. I can't act peachy. I feel so humiliated, which is not good. I am kind of weak chick. I really want to have more confident (can I buy it somewhere?) If you ever saw me, you'll know that I am kind of weak, shy, and stressful person. I mess up everything. But, that is what we life for as a teenage right? Being wrong is not bad at all. Life is practice to make something better. We have the different idea about this something. What is the problem if we have different act?

All I want to say is I don't care about what the other think about me (maybe yes for a little).

By the way, I really want to make a zine. A personal zine. Wish me luck, people!

in the morning when i am so cheesy

7.21 am. so, i start writing this post at that time. THAT TIME. time that i should prepare for my class, and everything. i am so cheesy today. and it is not good because i am not gonna do anything today except sleep and read some post at rookiemag.com. oh dude, i am die! can you see it?

From Petra’s “School Spirit” photo shoot.

i have no interest today. i just wanna skip this day. i wish i have time-machine or something like that (the idea of time-machine always makes me happy). i miss my holiday with nothing to do. really really nothing to do. so, i'll go to my sister house and disturb the kids. ha! i bully them (of course not. i love them).

see? i am so cheesy today. i call it teenage-angst-situation. i have many things to do today but i lost the interest. books, magazine, and something around my college (uni, if you are at UK) do not make me interest any more. i hate it that i am bored with everything at college. all i want to do right now is watch tv with my dad, go to my sister house, read some more article on the internet without college related. i don't know how to cheer me up. when i was at elementary school, if school bored me, i'll gonna skip the day and stayed at home. but i can't do it anymore. college is suck (i'm sorry to tell you this).

i call this one cute rebel :

so cool so nice so rad via droptokyo.com

red hair is rad! and so rebel. well, my sister gonna kill me if i do red hair but the idea is good. i wanna be a punk when i am freshman. now, i don't know. i am moody person. sometimes moody is bad. when i have bad day, i gonna be so down and cheesy and sad and not good. ah, teenage-angst-situation. i am growing up for i-don't-know. i have no plan. maybe my daddy has plan for me, but i don't know.

well, back at today. today i wanna stay at home. see? home always comfort me. especially my room with the messy boom but  don't care. i love my room.

okay, maybe this boy at my college gonna cheer me up.

Mikael via droptokyo.com

too bad he is not at my college, even my life! mikael, can i send you love letter? i hate it when my crush is away from my real life! he is too far. i hope you can be my drug or something (ah, i become cheesy again).

by the way people, can you see that i am so interested at Comme des Garcons? mikael wore it! so mikael, will you spare the shirt with me? (now, i become so not realistic).

i hope you have better morning than mine, people.

i am not such a popular girl among my life, but i enjoy my life

Why everybody want to be popular? I am not. Popular means you'll see your face at the gossips news on tv which is not good (is it only me who think that privacy is important? because yes it is). Popular girls mean bunch of girl who gossip so much, more nice to boy than girl, very obsessed to be beautiful, do not care about school so much (she is popular, just pick rich boy. and the end for college). Okay, maybe I am just rude or something. Movies tell me that, okay? (hey, Mean Girls!)

Do you know about Rookie Mag? You really should read it. I never read Sassy (if watch at Tavi's is not count), but I think rookiemag.com is very Sassy. The pictures, layout, pictures again is so vintage. I am not a vintage expert, but I know a little (I know Coco Chanel, Audrey Hepburn. You should count it!).

Several days ago, I and my friend, Mila, watched Daria together at youtube. I like Daria (you know, I am kind of minority person), but she doesn't. 

Mila : Life to be Daria should be boring (look at her face, no expression).

Me : That is not a problem. She is smart!

Mila : You mean nerd?

Me : She read a lot. So what? That is good!

At my long holiday, I am about Daria and Wednesday Addams. I am trying to have no expression at my face but it is fail. I can't! I'll laugh so hard when I do that (I am kind of easy laugh person). See? Daria is so cool! Orange shirt, green blazer, black skirt, and a Doc! This thing make me about Mia Thermopolis of Princess Diary.

Talking about Wednesday Addams, actually I want to wear black dress plus collar!This collar thing-y is stuck on my head (this is because of you, Miu Miu Spring 2010).

Daria

Wednesday Addams.

Well, ENOUGH FOR THE FUN.